Day 17: Asparagus Pee!

Eat nothing but asparagus all day to ascertain just how noxious your pee can get.

I don’t need a lot of encouragement to perform this challenge.  I love asparagus, and I always pay an undue amount of attention to my bodies output.  Must be something about motherhood, but shortly after Emily’s birth I became unnecessarily interested in my own output.  Maybe I was just spending so much time charting/counting/examining her wet and dirty diapers that I finally figured what the hell?  Why should she have all the fun? Sadly, I have not had a lot of success cleansing my colon but it hasn’t discouraged me from trying through the years.  I’ve yet to bite the bullet and sign up for a series of colonics, all in due time, I suppose, baby steps towards a clean and happy intestinal system.  Ahh, I’ve distracted myself from my point… todays’ challenge.

I love asparagus.  And I smell my pee every day!  So today was win-win.  Before I can accurately report today’s findings I must first establish my control pee.  (Not to be confused with getting control of my pee. )  I like to use my pee’s smell and color as an indication of my vitamin, coffee and water intake daily.  So many varieties the morning pee can have.  The heavily concentrated, post workout, bright yellow, dehydrated pee, the “I took all my vitamins and here is my toilet full of “very expensive pee” pee” ( a term courtesy of my friend Jenny who thinks that my vitamin obsession is absurd.)  And of course, my very favorite, the pee that makes the bathroom smell like a Starbucks.  When you know it’s time to switch to water, because your pee smells like freshly brewed coffee.

So… this morning’s pee.  A pale, vitamin laden pee.  Bright yellow, but plenty of water.  Pretty average.  So, I’m thinking my results will be apparent.  I’m laying off excessive coffee or water, today, so as to not dilute the effects of my asparagus experiment.

On the menu?  Last night I stopped at the grocery store to plan today’s menu.  Grabbed two bundles of asparagus and two cans of asparagus tips. I was feeling pretty clever when it dawned on me to make an asparagus SMOOTHIE!  On the phone with Em’s dad I was telling him my plans to make a smoothie out of asparagus tips and kefir (another hobby of mine that is aimed primarily at creating optimal intestinal output.)  When I described my plan of blending up asparagus and kefir and maybe something for flavor he started to laugh… “Yeah, Kel, we call that soup.”  YES!  Soup!!  How had that idea escaped me?  I wasn’t really stoked about eating boatloads of roasted asparagus all day, but Asparagus Soup?

About an hour later I had this on the stove…

Pretty easy, and I will definitely do it again.  Threw two cans of asparagus tips in the blender with the juice from the can.  Added a chicken bouillon cube and a spoonful of sour cream, some Parmesan cheese – Voila!  While the soup was on I got to chopping and threw a bundle of asparagus in under the broiler with some olive oil and garlic.

All set!

10:15 am

As of this writing I have eaten an entire bundle of roasted asparagus.  In the spirit of keeping things honest I do plan to have a 1/2 portion of kefir smoothie this afternoon, as well.  It’s a necessity and another blog post entirely.  So far, first pee after the initial pound of asparagus… mild.  Smelling more like a rain after the grass was cut than asparagus…  but I’m hopeful.

12:30 pm

Working on the soup.  Mid morning pee does not smell at all of coffee, and definitely emitting an asparagus odor.  Success!  Soup is tasty, tasty.  I think I’ll make it next time with pureed cottage cheese instead of sour cream to amp up the protein.

12:52 pm

All in all, I am calling today a WIN! Pee is RANCID.  Belly is full.

Interesting factoid, just in case you are disappointed in your own lack of smelly urine after a day long asparagus eating extravaganza.  Evidently everyone can not SMELL asparagus pee.  But everyone’s pee SMELLS.  So, if you can’t smell asparagus and you feel like you’ve given it your all.. it might just be your sniffer.  For further details on this bit of fascinating scientific trivia, it was  summed up in this study.

One response to “Day 17: Asparagus Pee!

  1. Sweet! Colonics! I hope we find buried treasure!

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