Tag Archives: birthday

Three Months!!!

Dear Lucy,

This morning you slept in. I woke up when your dad was getting ready for work. He has been going in early so that he can spend even more time with us in the evening. I got up with your sister and helped her get ready for school. She climbed in bed to give you a kiss goodbye.

I was feeling overwhelmed yesterday so I took advantage of you sleeping in and cranked out a speed clean. A little before 8 I climbed back in bed with you.

I tried to just let you sleep. Really, I did. I just gave you a couple of kisses. Maybe three. And you wiggled a bit. Like you do in the morning.

And you opened your eyes. And you smiled. Like you do every day.

Everything is new to you. Every day a new experience. Each time you open your eyes and you see my face you smile. I pretend it is because you picked me. And that you are happy because while you’re ready for a day filled with new you are over the moon that the day will feature that same mom from yesterday.

I know that of all the babies that you might have been you are Lucy Quinn because I wanted you. Just exactly the way you are. I picked you.

And this morning when you opened your eyes and you grinned ear to ear, your eyes shining bright, I think maybe just maybe you picked me, too.

http://youtu.be/4El8E_FCUxk

Snow & Comfort Food

The snow has melted.  Less than 24 hours later and there is almost no evidence of what may prove to be the only snow fall we see this winter.  But my refrigerator and my stomach still tell the tale.

Em had the day off school yesterday and we had big plans.  We were going to eat.  And stay in our pajamas.  (And watch Judy Moody’s Not Bummer Summer, but I was slightly less excited about that than she was. ) I checked in with MQD mid-morning to see what he’d like for dinner and he responded immediately “Shepherd’s Pie.”  I’ve never made Shepherd’s Pie but as far as I know, there is no way to ruin meat, gravy and mashed potatoes in a casserole dish. 

Early yesterday afternoon it seemed like my dreams might not be realized.  By lunchtime I was out of my pajamas and running to the store for a five pound bag of potatoes.  An hour later I was peeling that bag of potatoes while Lucy slept in her car seat.

While the potatoes boiled Em and I watched some of her movie and I fed the little lady.  I erroneously thought she might get back to sleep.  In case you are wondering, if you are ever preparing to enter a contest that includes the Triple Dog Dare Challenge  “Mash five pounds of potatoes with your right hand while you jiggle an eleven pound baby with your left hand” I’m your girl.

Later that evening MQD says “Dinner looks good, baby” and I suppose I could have been more humble.  “It damn well better, the potatoes alone took me two hours.”

I promise it is not my lack of employment that is making me all cook-y.  It’s the cold weather.  Two winters ago was the Winter of Italian Wedding Soup.  This month marks the start of the Winter of Shepherd’s Pie.  I cheated a bit and used McCormick’s Brown Gravy mix because I forgot to grab Worcestershire at the store.  But it was a smashing success.  I will be eating and then repeating this meal.

Em was Clean Plate Club all the way.

Lest you think I am gonna get all whole foods, hippie dippy on you…. fear not.  We had dessert, too.  A certain little lady turned one month old yesterday.  So a cake was in order.  I’ve seen this recipe before but decided to give it a go.  The Two Ingredient Cake. Pick your poison – One can of soda, one box of cake mix. Mix.  Cook and enjoy.  We opted for Sprite and Strawberry cake.  Cream cheese frosting, of course.

It has that Pop Rocks  “Holy shit what I am eating is totally artificial” flavor and it makes my teeth feel like they are wearing a sweater but damn… it is tasty.

I cooked this entire dinner with a wide awake one month old Lucy bouncing on my shoulder.  Evidently it wore her out.  Because she fell asleep in the middle of her party.

The Pre-Party can sneak up on you, little lady.  Take it from your mother.  She has slept through a few parties in her day.

 

 

If I knew then….

September is a tough month for me.   Em’s birthday, her due date and the day Jer and I were married are all within a week of one another.  It’s impossible for me to think about one without thinking of another.

I told Em the story of the day she was born yesterday.  And it was hard.  It is equally hard to call her father and hear him tell her that he loves her.  On this day it is harder than any other day for some reason.   I don’t imagine it is a picnic for MQD to hear me tell her about Jeremy, either.  I do my very best to let Jeremy speak for himself. I never speak ill of him to her, nor do I tell her fantastic tales of a man she sees not enough of.  I do what I can to let her love for him carry their relationship.  She sees him with her own eyes, not mine.

I just dug up the letter I wrote Em on her second birthday.  I had no idea just how much her laughter would carry me through some dark days. When I wrote Em this letter I knew what was coming…. but I had no idea where I was going yet. Continue reading

And then she was Six…

Dear Emily June,

You climbed in to bed with me at a little before five in the morning on your sixth birthday.  “Is it the middle of the night or very early in the morning?”

“It’s night time,” I told you.  I am fairly sure I have a limited time left to tell you these white lies in the hopes of buying time in one way or another.  You rolled over and snuggled up against me.  You were quiet for just a minute before you said “I saw all those streamers, Mom.  But I didn’t look at my presents.”

When I was a little girl my mom used to decorate our rooms at night so when we woke up on our birthday we felt special right away.  And really I can’t think of a better way to start a new year.  I hope you feel special every day of this year, little girl. Continue reading

And then she was five….

Ems,
You make my heart sing. Thank you for being such a strong little girl. In you I see the strength that has always been in me.

In the last year you have grown like a weed. You have gotten taller, smarter, stronger, sassier, kinder… and more compassionate. The toddler you were last year that said hilarious things and likely had no idea why they were funny is gone. She has been replaced by a little girl that knows exactly why her clever comments are so hilarious. But she also knows what it means when she says “Come here, Mom, I’ll give you a hug.”

You still hold me tight. But I hold you even tighter. Because I see in you the little girl you are becoming. And I know that the woman is right around the corner. I’d slow the earth’s rotation to make the day’s longer, just to make now go on forever. You are a pleasure, you are still my big, bright star, Em. There’s still no other way to describe you.

This year your dance parties have continued to be a highlight. I think it’s time to teach you how to spin around a room like Molly Ringwald. This is the song that comes to mind right now…

I’ll stop the world and melt with you
You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time
There’s nothing you and I won’t do
I’ll stop the world and melt with you
The future’s open wide!!!!

I’ll stop the world and melt with you
I’ve seen some changes but it’s getting better all the time
There’s nothing you and I won’t do
I’ll stop the world and melt with you

The future’s open wide!!

I love you, baby girl.
Mom

Happy Birthday, Ems…

Ems,
I’m just really proud that it was yesterday you decided to start dropping the “Breaking the Law! Breaking the Law!!” every time we did something a little awesome. Because it will be way funnier to remind you that you used to quote Judas Priest when you were only three. But seriously… are you only four years old? Yesterday afternoon when I picked you up from school we were on the way down the hall and I said “So… did you do anything cool today?” You rolled your eyes a bit and said “Well, sure… let me get my backpack and we can break it down when we get in the car.”

I was almost afraid that years had passed me by and you were turning 14. But then you woke me up this morning with your sweet face next to mine and said “Mom, I think I peed in your bed a tiny, tiny bit.” And oddly… I was happy to have my baby back for a second.

Happy Birthday, goofy girl. You’re still my big, bright star. Every day shining brighter. Love you.
-Mom

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Happy Belated Birthday, Emily June

November 15, 2005

Dear Emily,
Today I put this little poem in a frame for you and I am going to hang it in your room. I started this project when I was pregnant with you. I would sit in the chair in the living room after a long day at work, put my feet up and cross-stitch to keep me busy and keep me from worrying about when you would arrive. As your birthday got closer and closer I cross-stitched feverishly in an effort to get it finished before you were born. As it turned out I was not nearly done when you arrived. This turned out to be a blessing. When you were just about a month old I realized that I could nurse you and cross-stitch right over your tiny, perfect little head. My arm would rest against your itty-bitty little shoulders. We sat for hours while you nursed and slept across my lap.

Working on my project late in to the night, both before you were born and after, I would picture myself as a mom, a real mom. In doing this I couldn’t help but think about my mom, your grandmother. When I was little she was always hard at work on a million projects, never just sat down and relaxed. Even when she sat down she was knitting, quilting, sewing something for one of the kids or for our home. Not until I found myself doing the same thing for you did I really understand.

Loving you is all consuming. I can’t just sit and relax even when you are fast asleep. I want to keep my love for you in action. I could never demonstrate the depth of my emotion for you, never put in to words the way you touch me. Through these projects, the cross-stitch, and the new bed skirt, the Halloween costumes and the fancy party dress I will someday make you will know that even when my day is done I kept my hands at work, loving you every moment. Sweetheart, this is the just first time you have filled my heart with love not just for you but for my mom, too. She taught me how to be a mother and we both owe her a big thank you.

Today I finished my first project for you, Emily. No coincidence, today is your grandmother’s birthday. When we look at this little poem hanging in your room I hope it reminds us both of a few things. For you I hope it reminds you to reach for the stars and dream big, little girl. It’s a big world out there and I will be here to help you. Just like the stars in the sky I will always keep one eye open, watching you grow up, sometimes from a distance that pains me now to imagine. For me this poem hanging on your wall will remind me of my mom. She taught me everything I need to know to be your mother. I just didn’t realize it until you were here in my arms.

I love you, baby. You are my big bright star.
Love, Mom

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