Tag Archives: Birthdays

Day 82: Meditation

Day 82: Sit in the lotus position for 30 minutes.
Sure.  Just as soon as I have thirty minutes. I actually did take thirty extra minutes after Bikram the other night to sit.  And just be.  It’s easier to carve out thirty minutes of time when you have already earmarked ninety.

This morning I knew I had to go to the chiropractor, remind Mike to get keys cut, sign up Emily for kindergarten after school care and then go to work.  But when I looked at my phone on the way in to the chiropractor’s office and my gmail calendar was not showing up, I flipped.  I tend to schedule things, put it on the calendar and I don’t have to feel the stress of both completing a task and remembering it.  But this week I actually have things on there like “find suitcases.”  “Charge camera battery.”  Not in lists… but on my calendar.  At certain times.  I am starting to feel the Bridal Mania and I have been choosing to sedate it with a steady diet of Budweiser and scheduling.  Both seem to set me at ease.  So, not being able to see my calendar this morning had me panicked.  I can’t exactly kick back beers at work, so I need my calendar.  If nothing pops up and tells me to do something, I’m cool.  I’m not forgetting things.

To that end I decided I needed another thirty minutes of sitting.  I rarely take a “lunch break.”  But I have promised myself I’d get in the office early and stay a bit late if need be this week, so taking thirty minutes for me seemed necessary.  And it is 80-something out today.  And not raining.   

It wasn’t on my calendar.  But I sat on the floor for thirty minutes and did my damnedest NOT to think about anything.

And then I took a quick walk outside.  Spring has sprung.  I hear Springtime is a nice time to get married.  And turn 35.  And make babies.  I am feeling pretty confident in my ability to get two of the three accomplished in the next couple of weeks.  For now, the third task is not on my calendar.  Fingers crossed that it won’t ever need to be. 


Day 46: Birthday Day!

Today’s challenge is indicative of the fact that this  book was originally printed in 2003.  It asks you to write down the birth dates of your friends and loved ones, in an effort to not forget them in coming years.

It’s nearly impossible to forget someone’s birthday since Facebook.  And in a lot of ways it really bothers me that remembering someone’ s birthday isn’t really very meaningful anymore.  I will cop to being a frequent facebooker.  It’s probably the equal parts voyeur and exhibitionist in me.  But I do try not to “Happy Birthday” everyone that appears on the upper right hand side of my screen daily.  Particularly if the recipient is someone whose birthday I never knew.  Maybe this isn’t really meaningful, either, but I highly doubt anyone is sitting around wondering why I didn’t tell them Happy Birthday amidst their 300 messages.

My inability to remember birthdays isn’t an indication of a general state of forgetfulness.  I am just bad about birthdays for some reason. Case in point, I just checked Facebook.  Today is the birthday of a guy with whom I attended middle school.  I did not know today was his birthday.  We shall call him Drew, since that his name.  I know that Drew’s phone number was 250-2435 before you needed to dial a prefix in Northern Virginia.  I know that Drew made me cry when I was 12 and that I (cringe) purchased Chicago’s “Look Away” cassette tape single for him as a  Christmas present but thought better than to give it to him.  Evidently, my heartbreak had healed in the time it took to get a ride home from the mall.  All of this to say, I am not a forgetful person.  I just have a mental block against birthdays.

So I have started entering birthdays in to the calendar on my phone. I’m not sure why I feel better about being reminded via one digital source than another.  But I do.  And I have PLANS.  Big Plans!  I am planning on setting up a 2011 file with cards and envelopes.  And addresses.  And maybe even addressing envelopes for 2011 and having myself all set up.  To send real, live, delivered to your postal mailbox birthday greetings.  Because there is forethought and intent in sending a real, live letter.

I wish I could send pink sparkly shoes to everyone of my birthday friends.  Alas, we are not all so lucky.

And then she was five….

Ems,
You make my heart sing. Thank you for being such a strong little girl. In you I see the strength that has always been in me.

In the last year you have grown like a weed. You have gotten taller, smarter, stronger, sassier, kinder… and more compassionate. The toddler you were last year that said hilarious things and likely had no idea why they were funny is gone. She has been replaced by a little girl that knows exactly why her clever comments are so hilarious. But she also knows what it means when she says “Come here, Mom, I’ll give you a hug.”

You still hold me tight. But I hold you even tighter. Because I see in you the little girl you are becoming. And I know that the woman is right around the corner. I’d slow the earth’s rotation to make the day’s longer, just to make now go on forever. You are a pleasure, you are still my big, bright star, Em. There’s still no other way to describe you.

This year your dance parties have continued to be a highlight. I think it’s time to teach you how to spin around a room like Molly Ringwald. This is the song that comes to mind right now…

I’ll stop the world and melt with you
You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time
There’s nothing you and I won’t do
I’ll stop the world and melt with you
The future’s open wide!!!!

I’ll stop the world and melt with you
I’ve seen some changes but it’s getting better all the time
There’s nothing you and I won’t do
I’ll stop the world and melt with you

The future’s open wide!!

I love you, baby girl.
Mom

Happy Birthday, Ems…

Ems,
I’m just really proud that it was yesterday you decided to start dropping the “Breaking the Law! Breaking the Law!!” every time we did something a little awesome. Because it will be way funnier to remind you that you used to quote Judas Priest when you were only three. But seriously… are you only four years old? Yesterday afternoon when I picked you up from school we were on the way down the hall and I said “So… did you do anything cool today?” You rolled your eyes a bit and said “Well, sure… let me get my backpack and we can break it down when we get in the car.”

I was almost afraid that years had passed me by and you were turning 14. But then you woke me up this morning with your sweet face next to mine and said “Mom, I think I peed in your bed a tiny, tiny bit.” And oddly… I was happy to have my baby back for a second.

Happy Birthday, goofy girl. You’re still my big, bright star. Every day shining brighter. Love you.
-Mom

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