Tag Archives: Atkins

Day 60: The Impossible Pizza

“Order an impossible pizza.”

I think this challenge wants you to call up and order a pizza with 1/8 mushrooms, 1/3 extra cheese, 2/5 pepperoni and on and on…. but much like the dine and dash  challenge I just can’t do it.  I love a lot of things in this life.  My pizza place among them.  So I am not about to call them up and be a pain in the ass.  (More of a pain in the ass than I already am…) So…. what would my impossible pizza look like?

Well, a lot like this….

But that looks like a bowl of cheese and pepperoni?  I KNOW.  And this is what I live with.  Can’t blame a man for trying to prolong his life, I suppose, but seriously?  When your commitment to eating a low carbohydrate diet in an effort to control your blood sugars (thereby lowering your insulin usage) is so  strong that you eat BOWLS OF CHEESE AND PEPPERONI instead of PIZZA….. that’s really… something.

And what that something is is a buzzkill.  It’s no fun to eat a bowl of ice cream topped with M&Ms and dip sourdough pretzels in to the soupy blend once you’re half way finished when next to you on the couch is a man eating a bowl of ricotta cheese flavored with vanilla extract.  Don’t bother to try this experiment.  I have now done it enough to tell you with certainty it is no fun.

But if what is good for the goose is good for the gander and all that…. I’m thinking I might eat alongside him for a bit.  Can’t hurt.  I’m supposed to start obsessing about my weight soon, right?  Isn’t that on the Bride To Do list?