Yesterday was the first day of my self-taught, self-guided and intensive course on the Art of Relaxing.
I did not hurry.
I made iced tea. Relaxed people drink iced tea instead of pounding down cups of black coffee all day. They probably do not use cold brew tea bags because they have all the time in the world to make sun tea but I purchased them earlier in the week when I was still in a hurry. Sue me. Baby steps.
I decided to try and water the grass. That was a disaster. Lucy had other ideas. She is not really in to relaxing. She seems more interested in hauling ass down the driveway. We ran up and down the driveway. We ran back and forth across the street. Some of us skinned a knee (or two) and kept on trucking. I did not think about how we were not getting “anything done.” Well. Maybe once.
Em got home from school and we tightened up the ship for a bit. We did homework. We got dinner ready. I ran around and picked up the crap that collected all over the floor of the kitchen and the living room while I was busying trying to be more relaxed. “Can we eat outside on the deck?” Emily asked.
“Sure, why not?” That sounds like something a relaxed person would say. We had dinner. There is no Lucy containing device on the porch so I asked MQD if he’d hold her while I ate and then I would return the favor. (I have been enrolled in a year long “Learn to Ask For Help Instead of Just Glaring At People Around You Like They Are Pissing You Off While Making Passive-Aggressive Comments” class. My progress has been slow but steady.) When it was my turn to hold the little wild one she wanted none of it. I stripped her down, let her shake her groove thing on the deck for a bit and then offered to go and give her a bath. I figured the man works hard, let him sit and enjoy the evening. I mean, what had I done all day? Relax?
I might have looked out the door when I was finished with Lucy’s bath and seen him leaned back in his chair, arms folded behind his head. It’s cool. I will just clean up a little. I picked up. I nursed and rocked Lucy to sleep. Sent Em up to take a shower. Nursed Lucy again. It is possible I glanced out on the deck a few (hundred) more times, noting MQD’s motionless body (and the dinner dishes surrounding him.)
I figured I would just start on the dishes. Surely he will clear the table any minute now. I mean, really. I have only been relaxing for two days and I can get it finished in like ten minutes. How long does it take? I looked up from the kitchen sink. Out the window I saw him. He was… SMELLING THE FLOWERS. He was smelling flowers, guys.
I live with a RELAXING PROFESSIONAL. This class might not be self-taught. I might have to enroll in MQD’s School of Relaxation. He smells flowers. And from the looks of it he loves it. The dude does not look stressed. This flower smelling fella lives with me and my crazy ass dog and my insane children and he has a new job and he lives with me (I said that already, didn’t I?) and he looks pretty relaxed. Blissed out, even. Sign me up, MQD.