The Kid With a Name

Sometimes my favorite thing about giving Lucy a bath at night is having the opportunity to eavesdrop on Emily’s conversations with MQD while they clean up the kitchen.

Okay, maybe it is my second favorite thing.  Sitting on the floor next to the tub and drinking a beer is also pretty fantastic.

In another lifetime I used to sit back in the bathtub and enjoy a beer and a smoke. Recently a friend posted on Facebook that her son said that when he was in her belly he was “just like….this is the life.” Actually his entire sentiment bears repeating “I love fat Moms. Fat moms are so comfy and snugly. I bet when I was in your belly I was just like….this is the life.” All of this is  a long way to say that when I say that drinking a beer in the bathtub is like “fat moms” you should know that I mean that I think it is “the life.”

These days I don’t kick back in the tub … umm… ever. But I do sit on the floor and drink a beer while Lucy splashes around and is both contained and occupied.  And on a good night, I get to listen to Emily and MQD clean the kitchen.

Tonight MQD said to her something along the lines of  “Don’t do that, don’t put a plastic bag near your mouth.  You don’t want to be that kid in the newspaper that died from breathing in a plastic bag and everyone wonders why his parents didn’t tell him not do that.”

At the ripe old age of argumentative, I mean, 8, Emily knows everything. I sat back and waited for her rebuttal.  It was sure to be a good one.

“Dad, that kid had a name.”

You can’t make this shit up.


10 responses to “The Kid With a Name

  1. I can’t wait for these moments… though I consider Zoárd being funny without words — but still… :P

  2. So funny!

  3. That is hilarious! Kids are so funny.

  4. I like the way kids see the world. It’s like they haven’t been moderated or moulded yet. They are so much more original then when it becomes time to color all the tree trunks brown and the sky is always blue.

  5. Yes with the fat moms. I told G one time that I was trying to lose weight and she told me, “But then you won’t be so soft and snuggly!” I guess it’s as good a reason as any to sit on the couch and eat potato chips, right? And Em? Oh my gawd! What a character! Love it!

  6. OH man. Love this so so much. 1. My kids will fondly remember my fat. 2. Emily is so SERIOUS! Oh this kid is growing the eff up. I am at once crying the happy and sad tears. Wow.

    • She is funny as shit. Her comedic timing is so spot on. She has finally reached the point of stumping me… occasionally I really don’t know if she is just fucking with me.

Gimme some love!! Please?

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