Man Cave

I am a firm believer that every man should have his own Man Cave.  This is not always possible.  But it’s a great idea if there is any way you can swing it.  Before you convince yourself that this is a belief I have only recently begun to have in the last few days (since deciding to become a capital H Housewife) I should mention that the Man Cave is not just for the man.

The Man Cave benefits everyone in the family.  “Wanna listen to shitty German metal bands, Dad?  Feel free.  Let me invite you to spend the morning in your Man Cave.”

“You like that painting do you, Dad?  Go ahead and buy it, sweetheart.  It will look lovely in the Man Cave.”

MQD had a Man Cave in our old house.  We had a three bedroom.  One for us, one for Em and one for MQD’s desk, his creepy painting, his porn-addled single guy computer and his Don’t Tread on Me flag push-pinned to the wall.  It was perfect.

And then we moved.  To our Grown Up house.  And we have three bedrooms.  One for us, one for Em and one that is theoretically Lucy’s, but it is actually for the grandparent’s.  The Guest Room for now, but frankly, a new baby brings just one kind of frequent guests.  Grandparents.

We no longer have a Man Cave.  I campaigned briefly to turn the shed in to the Man Cave.  But it fell on deaf ears.  Occasionally we discuss getting a new shed, and wiring it.  And then I start to get jealous, and say we need TWO sheds if it will actually end up an auxiliary living room in the back yard.  Indoor/outdoor carpeting and a window unit air conditioning unit and it starts sounding like a dream come true.  Add in a thrift store couch, a mini fridge and a three foot tall bong and suddenly I’m in college and foot loose and fancy free… I need only step in the back yard turn up the Beastie Boys and…. Sigh.  I got lost there for a moment.  Mom Caves are a totally different animal.  They exist only in the recesses of my mind.

And really the main reason every house needs a Man Cave is because  the rest of the house is Mom Town.  Let’s face it.  I don’t get to ban the rest of the family from any of the rooms.  I pee with the door open and frequently entertain a guest while pooping. But much of the house is my domain.

And now sometimes there are moments that I think “Damn, I wish we had a room for weird shit that I know Mike will LOVE.”   Today I wished I was that footloose gal with expendable income and a boyfriend that had his own place.  Because I saw something that I wanted to buy for this boy I am crazy about.  He would have been over the moon.

Not only do I not have $60 to piss away, but there is no Man Cave in which to store it.  MQD, you’ve probably already guessed what it was.

For now, just know I haven’t forgotten.

I went to the mall today.  And I wanted to bring this woman home for my husband.  But sadly we don’t have a spare bedroom or a basement. Some day, my love.   Some day…

14 responses to “Man Cave

  1. oh man…man cave my ass. you wanted that for YOU. Mary and I would’ve bought one for the drama department (hah — for ourselves to dress up and pose during parties) to sit next to the Bud Bear.

  2. Simple math would indicate that you could have gotten just the head for only twenty bucks. That might be worth going back for. It wouldn’t take up THAT much room…

  3. Two of you mentioned that his mannequin has no hands… what would you do with her if she HAD hands? Hmmm….

  4. Odin’s beard! I have been facing a similar need to construct a wench-hut somewhere off my main hall. The feasting, sparring, drinking, and boasting must go on, but surely there must be a place where the study of lute can be accomplished unhindered.

  5. This all sounds a little too familiar…We currently have a mostly-built office in the backyard that we lovingly call “The Institute: A Place Where Dreams Come True.” This is mostly for all my hubs’ music equipment (NOT baby or guest friendly) and a little nook I now have for my office stuff. There is a bed on a loft above my desk for guests even. And all of his beer signs can rest happily on the walls. A mannequin would be a happy addition, I think.

    But it has taken 2 years, and like I said, not finished.

  6. I miss my husband’s mancave. I don’t want all his weird junk in our den!

  7. So what exactly would one do with a handless mannequin? Or would she model MDQ’s mask collection?

  8. LOL That’d be very creepy walking into the man cave late one night and seeing the silhouette of a woman with no hands… shudder…

Gimme some love!! Please?

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