Skateboarding Is Not A Crime

I got out of the car at work this morning feeling kind of squirrelly.    The…. D’s?  Are we the D’s?  If Mike is MQD and the baby is Baby D, does that make us the Ds?

That makes it sound like only my tits took a trip to IKEA if I say “The Ds went to Ikea.”  And who are we kidding?  The DD’s went to Ikea (we are reaching maximum capacity here in PregnantBoobTown. )

Nonetheless, this morning  I was feeling a little (read: a lot) squirrelly.  Yesterday morning we left for Charlotte, a 2.5 hour drive to “grab a few things at Ikea.”  A few things turned in to an all day affair.  And because I am married to the most wonderful man on Earth when I sighed and said “You know there is a Carter’s outlet on the way home…” he said “Well, let’s stop.”  So our trip to Ikea turned in to a trip to Ikea AND a new-ish outlet mall.

Late in the afternoon when I told Emily she was being so incredibly awesome and patient that she could definitely pick out something for her room I hesitated only a moment before I slapped MQD in the ass and said “You can, too.”

Sunday was a grown up day for the family.  We got shit done.  And Saturday we packed and cleaned and got some other shit done.

So, this morning…  I was feeling kinda  wacky when I jumped out of the car.  I had on my new Kelly green chuck’s and all was right in the world.  In between where I park my car and the front door to my office there is a concrete pad with a basketball goal.  And this morning…. there was a Spiderman skateboard.

AND I HAVE NEW GREEN CHUCK TAYLOR’S!

And I have used up all of my grown up, all of it.  All that I possess.  For the whole week.  And now I have to walk by a Spiderman skateboard.  On a super smooth concrete pad a billion times today.

Today is a test of my will power.  I am 35 years old and pretty pregnant.  I’m not planning on busting out a kickflip.  But just pushing around a little.  A 360 spin or one teeny tiny pop shove-it.   I can’t be that uncoordinated.

But I am imagining that phone call to my boss… “Umm, I had to leave work early, I think I hurt myself skateboarding…” or the phone call to my midwife’s office. “Can I come in and make sure the baby is fine?  I landed on my stomach skateboarding this afternoon…”  Or to MQD “Can you pick up Em today? I think I sprained my ankle skateboarding this afternoon.”

I think all three of them would say the same thing “You were skateboarding?  At work?”

And I don’t think my argument would hold.  But I got so much shit done this weekend.  And I have new shoes. I just… had to.

ETA: The Universe wants me to screw around today.  Or break my wrist.  Just opened my side door to step out with Fish for a bit.  And this is leaning against a tree.  I feel like I fell in to a weird vortex.  Or I have watched this shitty grown ups and kids change places movie with Pauly Shore too many times.  Anyway you slice it, I’ll be lucky to get home today in one piece.