Day One

Day One: of this challenge

Do One Press Up.
This is noteworthy because I have been on gym hiatus. I woke up this morning thinking I needed to get my shit together. Then I checked my email from my bed, a nasty habit, I admit, and there in front of my eyes was the first line of the first challenge. “Do One Press Up.” Today was gonna be “Get your shit together and stop acting like big damn crybaby” Day anyway, so this seemed like a good enough place to start. I just did one push up on the floor in my office and I felt awesome. I put myself on gym hiatus because I’d started experiencing a lot of joint pain from insisting I run everyday, from pushing myself too hard. I knew I was gettign a little obsessive and I needed a break. To check myself and make sure that I was really being healthy and not romancing my old nasty habits of being psychotic about my weight. So yeah.. a break was needed. But not one this long. So today, one push up and a yoga class if I can get my ass back to the gym. And maybe an effort to revisit the way I look at my gym “addiction.” Maybe I am just addicted to feeling awesome. Maybe I am addicted to an hour of shitty 80’s hair metal, or Girl Talk or watching 6 am CNN. But I think it is probably to feeling like a fucking BadAss. Because one push up later, I am smiling more than I have in ten days. And I know it didn’t just make me magically thinner. It just made me magically more awesome.

Decide which one of your toes is the prettiest.
My second toe on my right foot is my favorite. Because it is the longest and the thinnest, of course. I realize that I am sounding like a 17 year old girl and you might very well be thinking “Dude, this isn’t a fucking therapy session, honey, getchyerself the latest Cosmo and write them a letter, k?” But I thought this whole exercise would be more valuable if I was honest. With myself. And consequently with y’all. I don’t spend a lot of time in this place in my head but it is where I am today. In my 17 year old head…. it’s not that awesome…. so yeah, I like that toe. And it’s my toe that makes me an 11 in some shoes, which qualifies me to feel like a drag queen on occasion, a feeling I secretly enjoy.

Leave work five minutes early.
I am a nut about timeliness. I am never late to work. And I always stay 4 minutes past 5. Today I plan to vamooose at 4:55. I know. I am a fucking wild woman. If i leave “early” I have no excuse not to get out the door to yoga tonight. I had a nine minute jump start on my night, yo.

And just an added reminder to myself…. this is the 17 year old’s head I live inside. She was a helluva girl. Still is. Even when I feel like nothing will be good enough I remind myself that every day is a new one. And that 17 year old girl is watching me. And I know enough now to take better care of her now than I did then….


4 responses to “Day One

  1. I had to go to therapy which is a requirement if you want to become a psychotherapist in Hungary where I am from. Anyways, one home work I got is having the teenage me come to places with me and I had to make sure she drank enough water (=that way I drank enough water). So to make a long comment short(er) it is a very kind thing to take care of your inner teenager (did that rhyme?!) :)

  2. Oh man your getting me motivated

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