“I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.” ~Judith Viorst
Only I didn’t trip on my skateboard.
In order to get out of my bed I have to pull my legs out from underneath 75 pounds of dog, slide out from under the kiddo and climb over a bed rail. Tripping over a skateboard sounds like a dream come true. Every morning I perform this acrobatic feat in order to get to my bathroom and every morning I know whether I am looking down the tunnel at a a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day within the first ten seconds.
The answer lies in the response to the question – how much does it hurt to walk today? Just a little? Enough that I need ice and the TENS unit or just ice? Maybe it only hurts in a creaky, stiff “I can totally go to yoga but not swimming ” kind of way. Or maybe it hurts in the “Holy shit, I want to climb back in to bed right after I make a pitstop in the kitchen and eat my face off because that is what I do when I feel defeated” kind of way. Very occasionally I have the kind of morning where my feet hit the floor and I take two steps and I feel like me. Those are the mornings that I want back.
Feeling like “me” in the morning is not always a picnic. I have chronic lower back pain. I have a penchant for mexican food and water retention and feet that like to remind me of this. I am frequently sore because I am stubborn and foolish and of the opinion that if three sets of 8 with a 20 pound weight are a good idea than three sets of 12 with 25 is even better.
But it never hurt just to walk.
My lower extremity functional scale and my new pink shoes that have seen fewer miles in the last two months than I care to admit.
So, I sucked it up and I went to the doctor. And she told me to go to the physical therapist and in a rare moment of doing what I am told I went. And I did the exercises and I stopped running and I went to yoga and I stretched and I iced and I took the anti-inflammatory. And the tendonitis that had wreaked havoc on my range of motion seemed to be at bay. I am stretchy, again. Nights spent stretching my hamstrings in my doorframe have paid off. But it still hurts. Fucking bursitis.
So, I did that thing that is so impossibly hard. I went back to the doctor. And I said “It still hurts.”
I am the Queen of “Fine! Everything is Fine!” I don’t like to yammer on too much about what ails me and in the presence of a doctor I somehow I feel this desire to downplay everything. But I went in to my doctor’s appointment armed with two pieces of information. If you follow Excitement on the Side on Facebook than you might already be familiar with them.
Lucy has started galloping. And I went to a hula hooping class.
Now those two things might not seem like a red flag. But when I said to Emily “Check it out! Lucy is galloping!!” she replied with all of the eye rolling an almost 8-year-old can muster “I think she is fake limping, Mom. She is mocking you.”
And hula hooping? I like to hula hoop as much as the next gal but asa fitness endeavor? I am one step out of the loony bin. I have had yoga and swimming up to my ears and I am so desperate for low-impact sweat that I am getting my Hoopnotica on, y’all.
I have given you so many words over the years. Now you can really have a look INSIDE me!
So, tomorrow I will head in to see a sports med doc at the UNC Spine Center that will hopefully give me some answers. And I will tell him the truth. Yes, I have been doing my PT. Yes, I have been stretching and icing and taking it easy.
And yes, I am going to do a sprint triathlon on Sunday morning even if I have to carry my own back half in a wheelbarrow.
Six months ago I signed up for the first one and I trained for 10 weeks. Since then I have completed one other and pulled out of three more. I was hurting. And why exacerbate things? But it is the last race of the season. And I raised a lot of money for Best for Babes (thank you thank you for generous donations!!) So, dammit, I am going to finish. This will be interesting since my focus of late has not been so much on swim/bike/run. It has been more wine/yoga/ice cream.
I’ve been quiet. And uninspired. Tell me something good. Leave me a link in the comments. Just don’t lecture me about running on my bum hips. I got the thumbs up from the doc and the confirmation that I am not doing any “permanent damage.” Set my “recovery back a few more weeks?” Probably. But at this rate – what difference does it make?
So, that’s what’s new with me. Lots of trips to the doctor, smart. And a decision to go ahead and run a sprint triathlon even if I am hobbling, probably dumb.