If you happen to listen to Madonna while you do the dishes and your 8-year-old daughter happens to ask you what a virgin is – be careful what you tell her. Don’t tell her that a virgin is someone who has never done “something” before or else she will loudly announce “I am a virgin!” whenever you enter a store she has never been in or eat a meal she has never had before.
And maybe you’ve already anticipated this – but I was rather taken aback when my sweet 8-year-old daughter shouted “I’m not a virgin anymore!” after she left the store and after she set down her fork.
It’s my recommendation that you go with a more specific explanation of the word “virgin” when your child asks you. And since I am no longer an “Explaining the word virgin to your sweet daughter” virgin – you should really take my advice.
Excitement on the side 
Hahahaha – this was hilarious!!!
This is hilarious! Oh, the life you live. :)
I think about this type of thing a lot. When I listen to my favorite 50 CDs or watch one of my 15 favorite shows, I think, “when I have kids, will I be able to watch this show with them around? Will I be able to listen to this soundtrack in the car while driving with my kids?”
And this is what it comes down to: What if they start singing that one questionable line from this song in the middle of a store? What if they ask me what this word means?
If I am comfortable with the answers to those questions, it’s all good. But, once I have kids I won’t be able to listen to the Moulin Rouge, Chicago, and Les Miserables soundtracks for about 18 years. Although I have strongly considered burning a copy of the disc which omits the inappropriate songs.
Funny that you mention show tunes, I was raised on Chorus Line. And what did I belt out at the grocery store “TITS AND ASSSSS, got myself a fancy pair!” :)
So the lesson here is “Madonna ruins everything”?
You know you could sing Cyndi Lauper’s “Money Changes Everything” and switch the lyrics to “Madonna Ruins Everything.” You could do that. might be doing it now.
I can see my son doing something similar in public, probably in front of the school principal or his great-grandparents. Definitely will head this little gem of advice.
They have a way, those kids. :)
Note taken. Oh my god.
Heh. Yep. Kids.
Thanks for reminding me that while I think life with a toddler is hard, I need to be put in my place.
Unrelated, but I thought you’d enjoy this: yesterday I was changing C and she kept grabbing my boobs and yelling “Mommy three boobies with MILK! Mommy three boobies with MILK!”
What does that even mean? Love it.
Laughed my ass off, dude. Like actually LOL’ed. Hilarious and excellent advice.
When I first learned the word, I gleefully announced to a room full of Thanksgivng guests that my /brother/ was a virgin. I know better now.
It begs the question – was he?
Everything my daughter knows about sex she learned from “Friends.”
This is the only reason I have ever considered watching that show. I might be the only person in the history of ever that never watched it. For ages I worked on Thursday nights, way back in the day of watching live tv, you know, when Friends was on. :)