Toe Socks, that’s what’s up.

I am a complex gal.  I am a problem solver.  I am a compulsive oversharer.  And I might be a genius.

I told you that I sweat, right?  And I admitted that I love Zumba.  Have I told you that I have a creaky mess of a body?  Zumba has presented a problem.  My poor knees are not down with the twisting and grooving required by my newly discovered total lack of skills in the latin dance arena. Clever girl that I am, I have determined that my Vibram Five Fingers fix this problem.  My incessant wearing of this wildly flattering footwear has left me with almost zero tread. The smooth surface lets me twist my hips like only this dance challenged totally sober Saturday morning girl can.

Last Saturday I wore my Vibrams to Zumba only to discover that my feet sweat an outrageous amount while I am there.  Slipping and sliding in my Vibrams left my feet hurting.  Knees were better, feet were killing me.  Socks, folks.  I can’t stand them.  But I will wear them when I get my sweat on.  Off I went in search of athletic toe socks.  Sexy, just you wait.

I stopped in two different running stores locally  with no luck.  By then my sidekicks were out of patience.  Not to be discouraged, I kept thinking on this situation.

Did you know that my foot, not including my toes is exactly the same size as Emily’s? You see where this is going, right? I am a genius, guys.

This is what it looks like when you cut five tiny holes in a dirty pair of your kid’s socks.


Not too dissimilar to that cotton wrist condom they put on your arm before you get a cast, no? It’s such a hot look I am considering wearing them all of the time.  With flip flops they would be especially smashing.


I told my feet they did not have to hide in the shadows.  But they are shy.  Some part of me has to be.  My ass was practically begging for me to include a picture last week.  Sheesh.

In an effort to stop this trend of “what’s grosser than gross” that seems to be developing I think I will be returning to This Book Will Change Your Life this coming week.  Hold on to your hats, folks.   Maybe this book will change your life, too.

13 responses to “Toe Socks, that’s what’s up.

  1. You are not just a complex gal, but a hilarious one to boot. You had me cracking up awhile ago. :) I am glad I came by because I am looking to upgrade my Zumba shoes. I see a ton of recommendations here, especially the musique, since it has the pivot points. However, with Elise mentioning Injinji socks, i am beginning to have second thoughts about the shoes. I love being barefoot and it is soooo much easier to move around. What says you about the socks and zumba?

    • I love the toe shoes because it really gives me the feeling of being barefoot, but to be honest they are great for Zumba because I have had them for a bit and the tread is almost non-existent. If I wasn’t already coveting new running shoes I might consider the musique. You can find them online for less than $50 and I have heard nothing but excellent things about them.

    • And I am glad you stopped by, too. :)

  2. You are certified hilarious. Part of me wishes that I hadn’t gone out and bought smartwool toe sock this weekend and thought of this instead.

  3. You are one smart woman. My daughter wear foot undies for dance – if you haven’t seen them, they are little like quarter socks that just cover the ball of your foot so you can spin and turn freely without having to wear an entire shoe. They look a lot like your makeshift Zumba socks, except that hers are way more expensive. You are like the female version of MacGyver. :)

  4. Try Smartwool or Injinji socks. The Smartwool will wick moisture away from your body, and as a bonus don’t stink. The Injinji are slightly cheaper but tend to stink more and bunch. Good Luck <3


  5. Shy feet :D Well, if your ass isn’t going to be, then I guess the job falls to them

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