I am a complex gal. I am a problem solver. I am a compulsive oversharer. And I might be a genius.
I told you that I sweat, right? And I admitted that I love Zumba. Have I told you that I have a creaky mess of a body? Zumba has presented a problem. My poor knees are not down with the twisting and grooving required by my newly discovered total lack of skills in the latin dance arena. Clever girl that I am, I have determined that my Vibram Five Fingers fix this problem. My incessant wearing of this wildly flattering footwear has left me with almost zero tread. The smooth surface lets me twist my hips like only this dance challenged totally sober Saturday morning girl can.
Last Saturday I wore my Vibrams to Zumba only to discover that my feet sweat an outrageous amount while I am there. Slipping and sliding in my Vibrams left my feet hurting. Knees were better, feet were killing me. Socks, folks. I can’t stand them. But I will wear them when I get my sweat on. Off I went in search of athletic toe socks. Sexy, just you wait.
I stopped in two different running stores locally with no luck. By then my sidekicks were out of patience. Not to be discouraged, I kept thinking on this situation.
Did you know that my foot, not including my toes is exactly the same size as Emily’s? You see where this is going, right? I am a genius, guys.
This is what it looks like when you cut five tiny holes in a dirty pair of your kid’s socks.
Not too dissimilar to that cotton wrist condom they put on your arm before you get a cast, no? It’s such a hot look I am considering wearing them all of the time. With flip flops they would be especially smashing.
I told my feet they did not have to hide in the shadows. But they are shy. Some part of me has to be. My ass was practically begging for me to include a picture last week. Sheesh.
In an effort to stop this trend of “what’s grosser than gross” that seems to be developing I think I will be returning to This Book Will Change Your Life this coming week. Hold on to your hats, folks. Maybe this book will change your life, too.