Dear Duke’s Mayonnaise,
I love you so much.
Today I cleaned out my kitchen cabinets. I threw out a very gross open bottle of chocolate flavored red wine. I am donating a small bag of canned goods that I bought when I decided I was going to try and get over my disdain for kidney beans.
When I rearranged my stuff in the pantry I realized I had three unopened containers of Duke’s Mayonnaise. Because when I go down the condiment aisle and I see you there I always think it is better to be safe than sorry. What if there was an emergency that could only be fixed with egg salad? or a turkey sandwich? Or the delicious chicken recipe I actually got off of the Hellman’s website? Or what if I decide to make grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner? Did you know that mayo makes the best grilled cheese? Don’t butter your bread, use mayo. You will never go back to using butter.
You’re a damn fine mayonnaise, Duke’s. You really are smooth and creamy. Now, come to Mama.
Excitement on the side 
So, did you keep all three jars? Or were those part of the canned goods that got given away?
Of course I did! I got rid of a few cans of beans. I will never part with my precious Duke’s.
I love your kitchen towel. I want one.
I am all about the Miracle Whip, none of that mayo stuff for me. Although if I was a mayo girl, Duke’s is a very sexy name for a condiment. :-)
I have never heard of Duke’s, or Blue Plate. Hellman’s is the food of the gods in our house. My son insists we buy some every time we go to the store, because you can never have too much mayonnaise.
Dukes = Blue Plate mayo in the south. Mmm.
I have heard tell of the glory of the Blue Plate. I will keep my eyes peeled.
I am the same way with black beans – God knows why. I have about ten cans of them in the cupboard. Apparently, they are trending on Twitter (or they were), so I guess I’m not the only one. And I envy you. Your house is going to be so clean after you donate and throw stuff out.
Nah, it will still be full of plastic kid crap. ;)