On Thursday morning at 9:45 I wrote on the Excitement on the Side facebook page. “is going out in to the world. Because nothing funny happens to you while you sit around on the birthing ball, not birthing, talking to your dog. Here’s hoping I have a blog worthy afternoon.”
I had another appointment with the midwife to have my membrane’s swept. I’d had such a groovy time the day before that even though my appointment was not until early that afternoon I was eager to go ahead and leave the house. “Hurry up and wait” is not a state of being I tolerate well, so I thought I’d head out of the house. Maybe run a few errands. Perhaps swing by my office and grab a few things to do in the afternoon.
Jumped in the car and figured I’d make the best of taking the day off. Turned on my car and… nothing. Tried it again. Nothing.
And proceeded to call AAA for the second time in as many weeks. My battery was dead. Lucky for me I remembered MQD’s excellent advice about being broken down in your own driveway from the week prior and went ahead on inside to wait for the AAA guy.
Less than 30 minutes later I was back in the car and on my way to the midwive’s office.
The visit was short and sweet.
But it changed everything.
As I sat on the side of the bed in the front room at the birthing center Maureen asked me about some of my tattoos. One pin-up girl from when Emily was born, one pin-up girl from when I came to find an apartment in Chapel Hill before my divorce. “And this one, oh it is the wedding present MQD and I gave ourselves.”
And Maureen’s face lit up and she began to laugh. “Oh, then you can stop comparing your two pregnancies. Your body doesn’t recognize this is as second pregnancy. Different dads, different sperm, different hormones.”
We chatted about a few other things. I can remember her saying “I think we will see you back here this weekend.” But the rest of the visit was fuzzy. I was standing in the door waiting to leave when I felt my eyes get wet when Maureen asked me if I had any other questions. She said “You got it this time…” and she hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and sent me on my way.
I called MQD on my way to the car, tears running down my face. “I am so ready all of a sudden.” Maureen is friends with the midwife I saw when I was pregnant with Emily and for that reason I feel like she understands how important this experience is to me, a chance to do it again, the way I’d hoped it would be with Emily.
I left the birthing center feeling inspired. No longer feeling “overdue” or anxious that this baby wasn’t “early” as so many people had suggested second babies would be.
I had pulled out three filets from the freezer and needed only to stop at the grocery store for a few things. We would have a nice dinner and I’d just relax, finally having reached that state of “the baby will come when it is ready” calm that I had been hoping to find all week.
I called an ordered myself some Chinese food for lunch, hoping it might keep me from buying a bunch of junk at the store, knowing that lunch was waiting for me. I was half way to the front door of the grocery store when my pants were soaked. Stunned, I stood smiling In the parking lot in my wet pants. I guess I knew on some level what had happened. But I was so afraid to believe that it was real.
So, I did what any pregnant woman would do. I got in the car and left the grocery store. Drove immediately to the Chinese food restaurant, wrapped a sweater around my waist and went to get my god damn egg rolls. If I was really going to go in to labor today, dammit, I wasn’t going hungry. It was just after noon as I texted MQD “Umm…. Call me.” From the line at China Fuji I told him “Either I peed in my pants just now or my water broke, either way I am getting Chinese food and going home.”
When I called the midwives office to let them know what had happened they suggested I go home and eat, get some rest and stay in touch. MQD texted our doula Erin and headed home.
In the ten minutes I was home before MQD got there I inhaled an entire order of steamed dumplings, some shrimp toast and three egg rolls. Labor or no labor I was full.
MQD and I settled on the couch to watch some TV and wait for Emily to get home from school. When she walked in from the bus stop I could feel how exciting the rest of the day might actually be. “Guess what happened today Em?” and her hand rose in front of her mouth as if she was in a silent movie as I told her that my water had broken She gasped and my eyes filled with tears.
This was really happening……. part two.