Day 50: Make People Notice YOU Today!
The book offers several suggestions for getting attention: talking shit all day, don’t shave, carry a midget under your arm (?) dress in colorful clothes… none of these really struck my fancy. I considered a lengthy repetition of “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom., Mom, Mom” since it seems that is a widely employed way of getting attention in our house. (I can not tell you how proud it makes me that in her five years on this Earth I have not yet actually said loudly “For Fuck’s Sake, Emily, WHAT?” Although I’ll cop to having asked her on more than one occasion if she was on fire.)
I could certainly use yesterday afternoon’s activity as challenge material. Em is “Child of the Week” at school so I went in to her classroom to read. Her favorite book as of late is “Labyrinth” (a killer book from when my brother was a kid based on the film) but I explained to her that not every parent thinks that books about goblins stealing children are acceptable preschool fare. Not every parent thinks David Bowie rules, either. But that is their mistake.
So, instead of “Labyrinth” we settled on Bob Shea & Lane Smith’s “BIG PLANS.” If you have little people or not it’s worth a read. It’s about a little boy with BIG PLANS. And he has a mynah bird pal that he continually asks if he is “in or out.” I settled in to the rocking chair during Circle Time and told all the kids in Em’s class that every time I pointed at them they could yell “BIG PLANS!” And every time I pointed at Em she’d say “I’m in, says the mynah bird.” It was fun to be in her classroom. And for about eight seconds I thought teaching pre-school might not make me claw out my eyes. The kids had fun. They got to yell. They hugged me. I had definitely “made someone notice me.” Check.
But as I sat down to write this quick post this afternoon and (admittedly) looked towards the keyboard to type I realized I might have done a better job of satisfying the challenge today than yesterday. I happen to think that pearls make cleavage appropriate for work. Right? Am I wrong? What? I mean… I added a sweater. A sweater with a flower. Does it get more demure?