Day 15: Gay for the Day!

Gay for the Day!

I failed.  And I really tried.  I didn’t see a single woman all day besides my daughter.  And I’m not even going there.  I did have a brief chat with one of my daughter’s teachers, but she doesn’t ring my bell, not that one anyway.  Heh.

So, off to the gym.  I was hopeful that I might get to have an entertaining encounter.  I even went in to the locker room, thinking that I could guarantee that I’d not be distracted by anyone of the male persuasion in there.   I hung around in there for a few minutes, just long enough to  start feeling like a creep and moved on, hopeful that my yoga class would have some enticing young ladies.

My trip to the gym actually was a double mission.  Last week I managed to surreptitiously snap a pic of  a bearded cute young man who looked an awful like the third Avett Brother.  I’d recently had a conversation with someone about how camera phones could easily be used to snap pictures of people with out them even realizing it, so I quickly took a picture of this cutie as an example.  While my efforts were appreciated I was told that the picture I got was altogether too blurry for her to confirm that he did really resemble an Avett Brother so I was on a mission to secure a less blurry photo.

Waiting in front of the room for the yoga class to begin I felt like a cast member of the Jersey Shore… I was CREEPIN’ for sure!  As a not-single gal this alone had me a little giggly.  Moments after spotting the Avett look-alike he got on his phone and I was able to snap a quick pic of him talking on the phone and incidentally looking right at me.  It was perfect.  I win!  Mission One accomplished.  Now, to set my sights on a lady.

There were a handful of cute-ish girls, but all of them  younger than the last.  And while I think a 17-year-old boy is about as cute as they come, pardon the expression, the teen gals do nothing for me.  I’m sure there is something to be uncovered by a therapy session in that,  but moving on… Well, not just yet, speaking of uncovered in a therapy session, I did notice that while actually scoping out chicks at the gym I found myself just as critical of other women as I am of myself.   I often wonder if my body image issues are motivated internally or externally, primarily.  In really looking at other women I realized a few things… I think my “ideal” is totally fucked by societal standards.  And even in a gym full of college aged women I couldn’t find a “perfect 10.”  What does this mean? I should chill the fuck out and relax a little and not be so hard on myself.  And if I was a lesbian I think I might be a real pain in the ass.

So…. in to yoga class I go.  Still failing miserably at today’s challenge.  I did try and spend less time grabbing at and eyeing MQD’s ass than I typically do in a day.  And this is saying a lot.  But still not enough to make me feel Ive succeeded.  Throw down my mat and see that Yoga Boy/Avett Bro is right next to me.  He has a placed another mat next to him, presumably for the recipient of his phone call.

And she enters the room.  Cute little blond, crosses in front of me to Yoga Boy/Avett’s Brother’s spare mat.  Awww.  His girl.  Of course.

I spent the next hour attempting to make eyes at this young lady, but it was a huge fail.  She made really screwed up yoga faces, for one, and for two…  the fact that the only time I even kinda thought there was a glimmer of somethin’ somethin’ in my innards was when I could check out her butt from a most interesting point of view (looking through her boyfriend’s legs…)

Moral of the story… I failed.  I love boys.  Boys, men and everything in between.  Today wasn’t much of an epiphany.