Category Archives: This Book Will Change Your Life

If you have a particular faith or religion, that is good. But you can survive without it. ~ Dalai Lama

Today’s challenge was to determine what you’d like to come back as in your next life and send a note to the Dalai Lama.  To begin with I am, as my daughter would say “a fan” of the Dalai Lama.  Any religious leader that seems to understand that “religion” is a vague term at best is an admirable creature.

If I could come back again as an animal…  I think I’d like to be a dog.  But only if I could pick my family.  I’d love to be a dog in a house with children.  I’d like very much if my primary responsibilities were doling out love and making funny faces.  That sounds like a helluva way to live.

Long before I was a mother, I had a baby.  Here he is the week we brought him home.

Dear Fisher,

I miss you every damn day.  I know you’re happy at the beach.  And I know you’re where you belong.  But I know the smiles that you’d have brought to Emily’s life would have just grown exponentially.

The last time I was at your house I snapped this picture really quickly and it makes me smile.  You’re smiling.

You are always smiling.  I look at your face now and I think “where the hell did you get those gray hairs?”  This is much the same way I feel when I look at my own face.  So many nights I held your sweet face in my hands and wept.  Did you know that everyone thinks you stink like “dog” but I think you smell like Fritos.  Perhaps that salty smell is all the tears you absorbed in your youth.  Or maybe it is the ocean that is so deep in your mangy ass that it will never come clean, no matter how many times you’re sprayed with a hose in the driveway.  Either way, I think you smell delicious.  Just like Fritos.

Love,

Kel

Yeah… if I can come back…  I wanna be a dog.  My dog, to be exact.

I love this. I was pleasantly surprised to see that their were a few things on the list that I realized I really ought to add to my “bucket list.” And really very few I ruled out. I’m a try Anything Once, Never Say Never kinda gal…. so this was a fun exercise.

So to begin-

Things I will Never Do Before I Die:

Go to Heaven – Can’t go if you don’t believe in it

Become insensitive to Suffering – This just goes against the grain of who I am. I don’t see this ever happening, unless I get a lobotomy.

Become Pope – Nah. I don’t think you can become Pope against your will, so I can comfortably say this won’t happen.

Smoke a Cat – Until it got to the “cat” part I was ready to say “yup, already tried it.” But nope, I won’t be smoking a cat for pleasure. And if i had to eat one, I’m fairly sure I’d BBQ.

Become a Muslim or a Christian – Nope. Just can’t wrap my mind around either belief structure.

Catch that bird that pooped on you – Every time I have ever been pooped on by a bird I get hysterical, like laughing beyond any ability to continue riding my bike, walking, carrying on a conversation. I’m certain I’d not be able to keep it together to attempt to catch it.

Lose Your Mojo – Again, goes against the grain of who I am. If there’s one thing i’m certain I’m not letting go of… it’s my mojo.

Get fired for being truculent – I wish. I am non-confrontational by nature. And nearly spineless in a work setting. So, truculent? I don’t see it.

Change astrological signs – Nope. I’m a Taurus through and through.

Rule the World – No thanks. I am barely interested in being in charge of myself.

Things I never Realized I Wanted to Do Until I Considered the Possibility of Never Doing Them &/Or Things I’d DO If Given The Chance But Would Not Make my Life’s Mission:

Volunteer for a dangerous mission – Yes, please. I’d love to think there was something only I could do that woudl help people. This is kind of how I view getting pregnant, actually. A wild, potentially dangerous mission that only you can accomplish.

Loop the loop – I’d love to fly a plane. And I’d really, really love to loop the loop in a little open cockpit bi-plane.

Crush grapes with your bare feet – I’m ashamed of this. Watching Housewives of Dc the other day I was reminded of watching the I Love Lucy episode where they stomp grapes. I really, really wanna do this. I desperately wanted to be Lucille Ball as a little girl. She was funny, she was wild and free to be exactly who she was without any apologies. And best of all, Ricky loved her madly, not in spite of her foibles, but because of them.

Understand Einstein – Yup. I wish I had some time to devote to understanding higher scientific principles.

Have Sex With your Clone – Are you kidding? To be clear this is technically masturbating but with a live human being, right? ummm… perfect.

Get drunk on denatured alcohol – Just so I can say got blind drunk… if I was sure I wouldn’t die, and if I knew already I was going to go blind…. then yeah. sure, why not? It would make a helluva story at cocktail parties.

I learned a little bit about myself doing this. I have a better idea of who I am than I give myself credit for. The only things I could comfortable say I’d never do are things that really go against the very definition of Kelly. Hmm. Good challenge.