Day 82: Meditation

Day 82: Sit in the lotus position for 30 minutes.
Sure.  Just as soon as I have thirty minutes. I actually did take thirty extra minutes after Bikram the other night to sit.  And just be.  It’s easier to carve out thirty minutes of time when you have already earmarked ninety.

This morning I knew I had to go to the chiropractor, remind Mike to get keys cut, sign up Emily for kindergarten after school care and then go to work.  But when I looked at my phone on the way in to the chiropractor’s office and my gmail calendar was not showing up, I flipped.  I tend to schedule things, put it on the calendar and I don’t have to feel the stress of both completing a task and remembering it.  But this week I actually have things on there like “find suitcases.”  “Charge camera battery.”  Not in lists… but on my calendar.  At certain times.  I am starting to feel the Bridal Mania and I have been choosing to sedate it with a steady diet of Budweiser and scheduling.  Both seem to set me at ease.  So, not being able to see my calendar this morning had me panicked.  I can’t exactly kick back beers at work, so I need my calendar.  If nothing pops up and tells me to do something, I’m cool.  I’m not forgetting things.

To that end I decided I needed another thirty minutes of sitting.  I rarely take a “lunch break.”  But I have promised myself I’d get in the office early and stay a bit late if need be this week, so taking thirty minutes for me seemed necessary.  And it is 80-something out today.  And not raining.   

It wasn’t on my calendar.  But I sat on the floor for thirty minutes and did my damnedest NOT to think about anything.

And then I took a quick walk outside.  Spring has sprung.  I hear Springtime is a nice time to get married.  And turn 35.  And make babies.  I am feeling pretty confident in my ability to get two of the three accomplished in the next couple of weeks.  For now, the third task is not on my calendar.  Fingers crossed that it won’t ever need to be.