I believe in the power of a strong mind. Couple a strong mind with tremendous focus and anything is possible.
I put the power of my mom mind to a test this past weekend.
I waited this long to write about it because I was afraid of jinxing myself.
Guys, I willed away a stomach bug. I did. My sweet eight year old daughter came to me with tears in her eyes and said “I threw up.” I pretended I did not hear her. She repeated herself. “Mom, I threw up. Like nine times.”
I translated this from melodramatic kid speak to normal english in my mind. Maybe she just vurped. Maybe twice. (Vomit burps, tell me I didn’t really need to explain that. Vurps, you guys know what those are, right?)
She ran past me into the bathroom. Her little self was hunched over the toilet.
That wasn’t a vurp.
She stood up and turned to look at me, tears in her eyes again. I mustered every bit of strength I had and I looked deep in to her big, blue eyes. I looked past the sweet face of the child I adore. I’m not sure where stomach bugs reside (in the soul? In the gut?) but I looked there and I said “You can not be sick right now. Do you understand me? You can not be sick. Right now we have lice.”
I was knee deep in laundry when she informed she had thrown up. I had spent more than two hours “nit picking” with the magical metal comb and having my own head picked. I would spend the next 34 hours doing laundry.
I wasn’t fucking kidding.
There would be no stomach bug.
I was waging a war against lice. I didn’t have the manpower to take on a stomach bug. And to be quite honest, there was no way I was spreading towels on beds right now. We had an all out ban on fabric in our home at the moment. You get one towel, one pillow and one blanket. It goes in the downstairs bathroom in the morning and you put all of your dirty clothes directly in the washing machine. I had no space in my washing machine or my head for puke towels.
And it worked. It worked. I was rewarded for this feat of strength with a blizzard and a headcold but I still feel like a winner. At some point this week in between the Lice Laundry and the Snowpocalypse I gave my dryer a little break. I have slugged enough NyQuil to need a trip to rehab but I still feel like I am coming out on top. Because my head doesn’t itch. And nobody has thrown up.
Mind over matter, people. You can do anything. Anything.
When I am not doing laundry I like to let my kids out of the car and then lock the doors. They fake cried until I broke down and got out of the car. But for a few blissful moments I was all alone.
Excitement on the side 
Hear you roar! I am so in love with Katy Perry for allowing me to use “hear you roar” without bringing up visions of Helen Reddy.
OH! A few years ago in a rare moment of frivolity, we bought tickets to a Pearl Jam concert. My husband is a HUGE PJ fan and they hadn’t been to our town in 8ish years. Two weeks before the concert, a horrid stomach virus made it’s way through our children, but skipped my husband and me. Luckily they were all healed by the concert night, since we’d arranged for my mom to take the kids overnight so we could have the house to ourselves overnight after the show.
We went to the concert and had a fabulous time. We didn’t buy beers (we’d spent all of our money on the tickets) but my husband did finally cave half way through and buy a cup of water.
As we left the concert and were crossing the parking lot, looking forward to some blissfully along grownup time at home, my husband stopped mid stride and… you guessed it!! HURLED across the pavement. And then he proceeded to vomit non-stop for the next 3 days. The night sans kids was not quite so romantic after all.
Anyway, we’ve long hailed that mind-over-virus achievement, it’s a thing of legend around here. I just wish he could have staved it off about ten more hours. And I never did get it!!!
You are my hero. Seriously. I felt like cheering for you like it was the Superbowl,…only better because I actually don’t care about the Superbowl.
I remember when I was little and my mother would speak of “kids who had lice” as some how – I don’t know what I thought- but she whisper it and it couldn’t be good if she was whispering. Fast forward 25 years later (1980ish). Kids in little league passing helmuts back and forth. Mom and Dad were coming down from NY for Easter. Yeah! Except the kids, 11 and 6 respectively (+ a 7 month old) were scratching – their heads and their asses. I hadn’t read the almighty “memo” from the school which was stuffed in their backpacks. I called the pediatrician. He said “when they’re sleeping tonight, take a flashlight and look at their anus. See if there are little white rice-like things. Call me in the morning.” I chose to look at the 7 month old anus. It was just easier. Yep. There they were the little f_ _kers! White rice. Next day call to the pediatrician. Forget the combs, get the Kwell! and some by mouth medicine. Washing machine pooped out several days before so that wasn’t an option and fixing it just wasn’t a priority for the landlord. Large hefty bags of bed linens, quilts, stuffed toys, towels, clothing went off to the laundermat. Two hundred dollars later – said laundry was neatly washed, folded and ready for pick up. Mom and Dad never knew. I couldn’t endure the whispering.
Holy shit what an awful time of it you guys had. Just one of those things is bad enough on its own. So glad you didn’t get it and that the odds were ever in your favor. :-)
Way to go! I feel for you and doing all that laundry.
Tried some Jedi mind tricks on whatever was going around here last week…I do not have your powers though! Way to get through it. And yes, the vurp explanation was unnecessary. They’re as nasty as sharts.
Right on, lady.
That is power, woman. You are POWER!