I put my whole self out there. Sometimes. The things that I keep to myself are not usually the things that I decide are too ugly or too embarrassing. I have a tendency to keep inside the things that I suspect no one really wants to read about.
No one wants to hear about how head over heels in love I am. Do you? If your answer is “no,” go ahead and roll out. That’s all I have got today. And a whole two weeks before Valentine’s Day, huh?
MQD is gone for a few days. And I miss him. I miss him super bad. I am trying not to dwell and mope around like a lovesick fool but it feels like the boy I like at school is out sick and I wasted a really good outfit, an outfit so good that I can’t just wear it again next week because people will remember.
It was just a week ago that I started getting up out of bed at night when Lucy was asleep. I poke my head out of the bedroom and look for him, for this man to whom I am married and it makes me nervous. Because I am excited to see him. Because I have missed him in the last year. Because he is pretty much the best.
There are a lot of things that I don’t have figured out. But I think I might have this Marriage business in the bag. In the last week I had a slow dance in the kitchen, I fell on the floor laughing, I felt beautiful, I was challenged, I got laid, I got to sleep in, I was proud, I was encouraged and I was loved.
And now I miss him. I miss him, like whoa. You can’t blame me, really, can you?
As an aside – to the well-meaning security-minded folks:
I am probably not supposed to shout out to the Internet that the husband is out of town. But I probably shouldn’t have scheduled a Freecycle person to swing by and pick up some kefir grains when MQD was gone and we were home alone either. As I was pacing back and forth trying to decide if I should even open the door a lovely woman was leaving me a potted daffodil and a handwritten thank you note as she picked up the kefir grains I had left in a jar on my porch.
So, I am going to assume that if you plan to hunt me down while MQD is gone it is going to be to offer to drag my trash can to the end of the driveway. Or tell me that my dinner was great. Or follow behind me putting my carkeys on the hook or calling my phone that I have misplaced. Because even people that live in the computer are mostly kind. And I am really needing someone to do those things for the next couple of days.