Ain’t Gonna Bump No more

With all the excitement around moving and the house and Em’s new school I realized that I haven’t documented the “bump” all that well.  In fact, I am not even sure where either camera is located at the moment.  Iphone pic it will be.

This morning I extended my arm as far as I could and gave it my all.  Determined to get a new picture of the bump.

I turned my phone back around to see the image and gasped.  That was no bump.

Maybe some women might take this giganticness as a sign.  Probably ought to get things in order at work.  Maybe wrap my mind around the actual day to day of having a real live baby.  Looks to me, in my totally unprofessional opinion, like I might have a baby in the next couple of months.

But not me.  That’s not what I thought.   “Holy shit.  I need to get laid pronto.  That window is closing rapidly.  This is gonna get comical. Quickly.”

And where the not-pregnant massively body conscious Kelly might have started a downward spiral of insecurity, pregnant Kelly just started to laugh.  I thought to myself, “Let’s hope MQD doesn’t try and pass me off to Leroy.”

I ain’t gonna bump no more with no big fat woman
Somebody take her, I don’t want her
She done hurt my hip, she done knocked me down…
Say, Leroy, you can have this one, dude

Lord, I ain’t gonna bump no more with no big fat woman…

Lucky for me I don’t think MQD has seen a single episode of Soul Train.

3 responses to “Ain’t Gonna Bump No more

  1. I have a curious six year old who thinks TV came from Heaven. And that seems to be sleeping the sleep of the dead. Never talk to me about this again. HA. XO

  2. I’m sorry. You have a curious six-year-old, and you plan to be downstairs doing THAT? :-) And comment two: there are zillions of reasons a younger husband is a good thing, but I’d never actually added “hasn’t seen Soul Train” to that list. My bad.

  3. Lookin’ good, Tits McGee. ;)

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