Tag Archives: pregancy

An open letter to the makers of unattractive lady wear

Dear Hanes, Corduroy Pants, Ugly Sweaters Everywhere, Dansko and October,

Well, bless your heart.  And that’s a real blessing, not a Southern “go fuck yourself.”

This morning I left the house to see a rainy morning.  It was chilly.  But I was toasty warm, from the inside out.  Let’s start with the foundation.

Last week I tried to buy a pair of shoes to lift my spirits and ended up with a Hanes six pack of, let’s call them modest, ladies underwear.  And this morning I was thinking… if the cheap big girl panties feel this fantastic what must the nice ones feel like?  Enveloping yourself in a sleeping bag made of cake?  Pudding?  What?  I can’t even really imagine. Thank you, Hanes underwear.  I had  underestimated you and your low-rise hipster comfort. Continue reading