Last day…


She sat down at the counter for breakfast and smirked.  “Last day of being eight.”

She was waiting for me to say something sappy.  “Get your backpack, babe, and get packed for school. Let’s get totally ready for the bus and then we can ruminate on the matter of your birth.” She rolled her eyes.

As she packed her stuff she said “I am going to be nine tomorrow but I am still very immature.” I looked up from making lunches. “We are studying the duties of local government and every time…” that’s as far as she got before I started laughing.  “I know, right?  Duties.  I am the only that laughs.  In my whole class.”

“Do you think you will still laugh when you’re nine?” I asked her.

“Yeah.  Because that is only one day from now and we have state duties and national duties to talk about still.  But I’ll laugh really quiet.”

I am not sure how to break it to her.  There is an incredibly good chance that she will not ever grow out of this potty humor phase.  At 38 years old I am still yukking it up over here.

Emily June,

You will get an appropriate birthday letter this week but for today – enjoy being eight. Maturity is overrated.  Pierced ears will surely fulfill your need to grow up a bit, no need to stop laughing at poop jokes abruptly.

Love you,


8 responses to “Last day…

  1. Just tell Em that no matter how old she gets, it’s still her duty to be immature sometimes.

  2. Enjoy eight and the first half of nine. It all falls apart towards the end of nine, at least for my girl. One day (I should say “one of the days”), she decided her life sucked and her family sucked so she declined to have dinner with us. Instead, she lay on the stairs crying and whining. Then, I heard the voices of two girls whining and crying. She was using her Special Agent Secret Spy recording device to record herself crying and then crying along with it as she played it back. Thank god she still tells poop jokes.

  3. Two words: apple-> tree. From potty humor comes potty humor. And thank goodness! Me and 860 other people couldn’t be wrong! ;-)

    (P.S. Tell her, “Doodie in the pool!” will always be elegant, no matter the audience.)

  4. Brava. Let your daughter know that I am good friends with a woman in her early 40s who is a Special Agent with Homeland Security (which means she can be verry serious AND carries a fun) who ALWAYS and I mean NEVER FAILS to make poop jokes whenever I speak with her and is the most wonderfully inappropriate woman on the planet. Did I mention she carries a gun? So anyway let the shit jokes fly.

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