My Friends are Farmers

I dare you to spend a moment with a goat and not smile. As they hop about and run willy nilly I am reminded of the toddler that Emily was and the toddler that Lucy will soon become.

Watching Emily hold a duckling I think about how long ago it seems that Lucy was so fragile. The time passes too quickly. I wonder if I am really ready to decide that she will be my last baby.

Steve tells me about the three sows in the pig’s pen that all had piglets within a short period of time. I smile and think about how much I enjoyed being pregnant at the same time as my friend and neighbor twice! The piglets line up to nurse and I notice that they vary in size radically. Steve explains to me that the piglets will nurse from any one of the sows. I imagine the raised eye brows if I were I to ask my friends’ kids “Anyone else wanna eat while I sit here? Lucy only needs one boob at a time.”

Lucy poops all over herself and Jenny tells her it is no big deal. Poop is no big deal on the farm. It’s just part of life.
Birth and death and poop and breastfeeding . You can’t scare a farmer. You can nurse your baby at the table and it’s not the most interesting thing they’ve seen all day.
Conversation steers back to Lucy as she sits on the picnic table, grinning ear to ear in just her diaper. We talk about her sweet face, her soft skin. “It’s like foreskin.”
What?
I look at Steve’s face to see if he is kidding. I don’t know him well enough to guess. I look to Jenny. And then to MQD. They are both smiling and nodding.
I really can’t be the only one that thinks that it is super weird to liken my sweet baby to a penis part. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“Her skin. It’s like porcelain.”
Ahhh. Of course. And out of mouth before I can stop it comes “Oh man, I thought you said foreskin!!”

And just like that “The Day We Went and Had Ice Cream With Jenny and Steve on the Farm” became “The Day Lucy Was as Soft as Foreskin.”

You can’t take me anywhere.

5 responses to “My Friends are Farmers

  1. This is probably the funniest thing I’ve read in months! OMG, it hurts! Totally sounds like something I would do.

  2. Can’t stop laughing….

  3. My mom just got some pigmy goats and they are so cute, just like little dogs-slash-horses. But they are definitely not as soft as foreskin.

  4. Oh.My.God. I might have peed my pants a little reading this. I cannot wait to be sitting in the same room with you someday.

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