There is a song by the Beautiful South, 36D, about a gal that doesn’t seem to see that she has more to offer than her 36Ds. The chorus of which has run through my mind all day. “36D, so what? Is that all you’ve got?” But not as it relates to my own 36Ds.
I had an appointment at the birthing center this morning. The first thing they ask you when they come in is if you know how far along you are. “36 weeks” I said mindlessly. And immediately to the tune of 36D it started. But instead of “36D, so what! D, so what!” it has been “36 Weeks! Oh fuck! Weeks! Oh Fuck! Is that all that I’ve got???!!!”
For any of you unfamiliar with basic math or the duration of the average pregnancy let me spell that out for you. 40 weeks, subtract 36 and you have 4. Three and a half if I am actually counting, which evidently I was not.
I find a belt can be a slimming accessory when added to an outfit.
I must have made an audible gasp as she wrote it down… “36 weeks and four days, so you’re due in just a little over three weeks” because the next thing she asked me is if another of the midwives had told me about her theory regarding second labors and pancakes. The Pancake Theory (as I have dubbed it) has set me completely at ease.
Emily’s labor and delivery was not as I had planned. Like the first batch of pancakes. The pan is either too hot or too cold, the batter hasn’t had a chance to sit. The first batch of pancakes tastes fine, sure, but they tend to be a hot mess.
But that second batch? Perfect every time. As soon as you flip them you think, whoa, I wish had tons more batter, I could make pancakes all day, I am the master of making pancakes. Rumor has it the second baby is like the second batch of pancakes more often than not.
“They” say that if you dream about making pancakes it means you are satisfied with your current situation and that you take pleasure in the simple things.
I daresay I will dream about pancakes tonight.
This second batch of pancakes has a tough act to follow. For "not perfect" - she turned out pretty tasty to me.
Excitement on the side 
My first time was so awful that I swore off ever having babies again. And I had none of that labor amnesia people talk about. 5 years later I very reluctantly had another and it was easy as pie. 10 hours start to finish and 2 pushes and he popped right out. I did have an epidural – never planned not to – but I was like 7 or 8 cms before I asked for it. And prior to the last hour of that, the contractions weren’t even that bad. I delivered less than 2 hrs after getting it. I think if I’d known it would all be over so quickly, I could have done without the epidural. I was expecting to have another 12 hours or more based on my first time around. (Sure did feel nice though to not have to deal with anymore of those end stage super long contractions. Since I’m a wuss, I would probably get the epidural if I had to do it again :-)) Anyway, my point is the 2nd is definitely much easier (for almost everyone I’ve heard from.)
Wahoo!! I am taking this as evidence for The Pancake Theory. And yup, I have had no such amnesia.