My Oldest

My first child was a sloppy mess from the start.  He peed in the house.

The Baby & his Grover

He whined when left alone.  And he had very sharp teeth.

The Choppers

He ate the corner of my couch.  He stood in his food bowl when he ate his dinner.

My Sloppy Dining Companion

I loved him from the very first night we brought him home. And I was proud of him as he grew in to a big strong boy.

The Handsome Teenager

When I was pregnant with Emily I imagined the two of them fast friends.    Fisher and I would lie in bed at night and I would tell him everything I was afraid of.

Snoozing with My Confidant

When Emily was about two months old I was sitting on the couch with the two of them, tears rolling down my face.  Her dad asked me in that way that a man talks to a post-partum woman if I was okay. “Yeah, I was just thinking that she will grow up with him and then one day she will have to understand what it is like to lose a dog, and it breaks my heart.  I mean she is going to love him so much and he is going to die…”   Through the hormones I could see that perhaps I was getting ahead of myself.

Tiny Pals

There were a million hard things about Em’s dad and I separating.  But the hardest may very well have been pulling out of the driveway, Fisher’s head poking through the pickets on the deck.  I missed that dog every minute of every day.  But as I said to anyone that would listen, you can take  a man’s kid and half of his stuff, but only an asshole would take his dog, too.

My Kids at Play

Fate and a cross-country move brought Fish back to me last year.  He still smells like corn chips.  He still likes to sleep in the middle of the bed.  I still get choked up when I think about the relationship that a kid has with their dog.

First Trip on the School Bus

And now Fisher is eight years old.  I hope that he is around to walk to the bus stop when the time comes to send this new baby off to school.  He’ll be a little grayer, maybe a little slower.  I was thinking about whether or not he will have the same patience for this baby that he had for Emily, if he will be as tolerant with the “pony” rides and the dress up games.  For now I find peace in the fact that he is already forging his relationship with the new baby.  Recently I remarked to MQD that it seems I pick dog hair out of my belly button almost daily lately.  That’s what that means, right?  Fish is bonding with the new baby?

6 responses to “My Oldest

  1. Pingback: Fisher Banks: April 1, 2003 – September 19, 2016 | Excitement on the side

  2. This was such a sweet post. I remember couple days ago I just suddenly pictured my life when I was older and fantasized about getting new pets, I realized that my cat won’t be able to meet them at a certain point. I guess we never really think of that when we first see them. I say that now using my chubby prince as a pillow.

  3. Pingback: Do the Right Thing | Excitement on the side

  4. And you ask me if you can bring Fisher when you come visit. What’s a little dog hair…or a signed houseplant…against a blog entry like this. You slay me, Kelly. Again.

  5. Dang you, you’re making me tear up. My daughter is, very sadly, a cat person without a cat. My son and I, however, were born dog people. He and Trinity have been licking each other since he was born. I have pictures just like Fisher… of Max eating out of T’s dog bowl, Max laying next to her on the carpet, Max feeding her a box of dog biscuits, one at a time, and on my desk, I have the picture of Max wrapping both arms around her, resting his almost 2-year-old head on hers, while she looks up at me like, “is this okay?” Trinity is 11. I keep finding little fat bumps on her. Her hair is turning gray on her chin and under her collar. I took ’em all to the dog beach last weekend because Trinity hasn’t been there in a long time, and she deserves it. I don’t want my 1st baby to ever think I forgot her and what she likes.

Gimme some love!! Please?

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