Actually just don’t look at me at all. I am cranky.
I want to eat all of the food. I want to drink all of the wine. I want to watch all of the TV. I do not particularly want to feed or entertain all of the children. And I want to stop having all of the fucking periods.
I can get a little moody. My colors are red hot rage and white hot fury. There is no blush and bashful.
I wish I had a white noise machine that played Phylicia Rashad’s voice. It soothes me. Evidently so does Alfre Woodard and Queen Latifah. I recognize that claiming the remake of Steel Magnolias with an all African-American cast as white noise is funny. I’m just not in the mood to be amused.
Here’s hoping that a peanut butter sandwich and a cup of coffee will fill me up, that my kids will amuse each other for an hour and that the Lifetime remake of Steel Magnolias and what is bound to be a good cry can get me over the period hump. Because that’s the only hump I am likely to see any time soon and something has got to me cheer me up.